Harumph.

    I apologize for being MIA for the last week or so, but it's become increasingly difficult for me to meet my Thursday post goal.  I have a lot going on right now with the holidays fast approaching and my education on the line, so unfortunately blogging hasn't been my top priority.  I haven't really been in the best mood and a lot has been getting me down lately.  I'm also very VERY behind in TV, (I've only been keeping up with Once Upon a Time at this point since it's the only one I can watch when it airs on Sundays).  I'll explain...
    As you know, I've been doing a year-long internship through my university at a local high school in the English department.  So far it's been an upward struggle, with my health declining and issues with overall teaching performance.  At this point, I've been given my class back and have been teaching mostly on my own for the last few weeks.  Unfortunately I have not been as successful as I would like to be at this point.  I'm still having noticeable issues with classroom management and the delivery of lessons.  I always think that I'm doing better than I actually am, which has hindered my progress.  Because of my substituting background, I've noticed that I tend to deliver lessons directly and methodically with little to no real explanation or real-world connection.  I need to work harder at humanizing the lessons for my students and making sure that we're using discussion adequately in class instead of just going through the motions.  I also need to start pulling the trigger with discipline.  I have a bunch of kids who talk over me during class and I need to take care of that as soon as possible before I lose them.  I wasn't expecting to have as much difficulty with this as I have been, but the reality is that my future is on the line at this point.  I'm not getting credit for this first semester until I prove myself worthy, so I really have to step it up and make these next few weeks count.  Luckily I still have some time, but I've been feeling really discouraged lately and uninspired.  My lack of progress and apparent noncompliance with the regulations set down by the program have made me doubt my abilities and it's really stressing me out, to be blunt.  Hopefully I can get my shit together soon or I'll be looking at repeating the internship next year and adding another year of school to my already mounting college debt.  I understand what's at stake and that's not making me any less anxious and stressed, but maybe that's what I need.  I don't want to panic, but I might be by the end of Christmas vacation, which is not what I want.  Keep your fingers crossed for me that I make it out of this alive and worth certifying, or I'm going to be looking for a new career path when it's too late...

    Besides the obvious problems I'm having with teaching, I really don't have a lot going on.  We recently moved, (another reason I haven't been on top of the blog lately), and have been unpacking for the last few weeks as we get settled in.  So far it's been really nice and comfortable and I really appreciate where we live now.  I don't come home to an empty, cold apartment and I have access to a great kitchen stocked with food, so I really can't complain.  Having animals again has been nice too!  Money has also been less of an issues, at least on my end, and I've been working on saving as much as I can already and reorganizing my finances so they fit my new needs.  My project for this weekend is finishing reorganizing my filing crate so I can fit all my bills, paperwork and other things in one accessible spot.  It's also been nice to have some extra help and expertise with these types of things because most of the time, when it comes to budgets and other adult things, I have NO idea what I'm doing yet.  Still trying to figure out a new routine for our new space, but so far I think we're settling in nicely and everything will eventually feel more natural.

    I'm looking forward to the holiday break mostly.  Next week is my birthday week, so I have that to look forward to.  I'm turning 25, which for some people is a big deal, but I feel like it'll just be another birthday for me.  I don't really know what age I actually feel like; sometimes I feel like I'm still 18 and other times I feel like I'm 30, so 25 should be interesting.  The following week there's a day and a half of school before break starts Wednesday.  After that, we don't come back until January 5th.  It will be nice to spend more time with my family and hopefully put the worries I have about my teaching future out of my mind for a few weeks.  My little sister is flying home from Texas on Saturday and I can't wait to see her!  Spending the holidays with family is greater than any gift I could receive.  It took me a long time to realize what Christmas should be about and I'm glad that we get to see everyone from both sides and spend a little time with each family.  It's worth it to me and that's all I really need.  That and lots of great food:)

    Once Upon a Time was really emotional last weekend!  I wasn't expecting what happened, and I love when shows do that because it keeps you on your toes.  With the last few episodes being very straightforward and predictable, it was nice to see a change.  I was getting pretty sick of the crazy family-hungry snow queen thing and it was heartbreaking to find out her sister really regretted her actions form the past.  The last time we saw that bottle was the very beginning of the season, so I had been curious to see what she had written in the letter, but I hadn't expected that.  I also wasn't expecting the flashbacks to Emma's past and the fact that Ingrid was very close to adopting her.  I can understand why Ingrid took Emma's memories upon her arrival to Storybrooke.  Now that the curse has been lifted due to Ingrid sacrificing herself, everything seems to be back to normal.  But wait!  Rumple is STILL a conniving bastard!  For next week's mid-season finale, I'm predicting Rumple attempting to take over the world one more time and get that dagger off his back, someone finding out about him lying to everyone, spreading that around and it getting back to Emma, who will have to stop him with the help of everyone else in town.  Elsa and Anna will probably help too before they go back to Arendelle to return those memories.  I'm hoping we at least see the Sorcerer or something because we've kind of taken a back-seat to the whole "author of the book" mystery, so that's the only other curiosity I had.  We'll see what happens, but I anticipate a lot of Rumple hatred next week.
    That's all I have for you this week.  I had to take some time and write this during school so I don't leave you guys hanging again.  I'm not sure if there will be continuous posts from me every week, but I will try to post at least one more time before Christmas break starts.  Hopefully I'll have some good updates for you.  Until next time, I remain your faithful correspondent.

Burn Out

    Welcome to Thursday everyone!  I really could use a weekend right about now, so I'm glad it's finally here.  Not to do fun, exciting things one would normally do on a weekend, but mostly to catch up and finish/start all the work I have to do by next week...

    For starters, I have not one, but TWO heavy-duty revisions to do, one of which is due by tomorrow, so I better hustle.  I also have a rough draft of my 10-page case study due Wednesday as well as a proposal for a unit plan due next week as well.  On top of all that, I still have to read another book before Wednesday and stuff to get done for my new job, (testing, fingerprints, etc.).  I felt so overwhelmed yesterday I thought I might cry, but I stuck it out.  Meanwhile, my body decided to play a cruel trick on me and make me feel like I got hit by a car...  Needless to say it wasn't the best time for a flare, but I feel better today, thankfully, and hopefully it won't come back anytime soon.

    That being said, I had a lot of fun filling out paperwork today for my new job, (that's funny, isn't it? "Fun" and "paperwork" in the same sentence...)  I have no doubt that my new superiors as well as the other staff members are really fun, caring and genuinely good people.  I was even reunited with one of my old friends from summer camp, who now runs the local branch summer camp.  Hopefully we'll be working together this summer because I'd really love a chance to get back into summer camp, even if it's only day camp.  I have no idea what I would do, whether I would just be a basic counselor, or if I could potentially fit into one of the program areas.  I was thinking about my strengths and realized that camp really isn't a good place for reading or writing, it's more about the outdoor activities.  I think since I've already done recreation that I would be good at that, but I'd like to try something new, (but relatively easy), like arts and crafts or drama, something I might be good at but have little to no experience in.  We'll see, but I hope my summer is just as fun as my new job should be!
    All the work I've been doing has kept me pretty busy, but at least it's mostly good news.  Unfortunately, that means I really don't have a lot to report on today...  I didn't get to meet with my favorite focus child this week, some of my shows weren't on or I haven't gotten to them yet, (like Arrow, which I heard was really good), and it's just been a really hectic week.  I did, however, learn about a premier of the first trailer for the new TMNT movie coming out this August, (SQUEEE), so I've linked that video below.  I can't tell just yet whether or not it'll be great from a TMNT fandom standpoint, but I do know that I'm really excited about it!  Even if it might be bad, I HAVE to see it.

    That's it for me.  Time to get cracking on some stuff before I run out of time.  I'll be posting another blog post tomorrow about a lesson on cyber-bullying we did in class today and Tuesday.  That will be in my ENGL 889 tab, so look out for that!  Until next time, I remain your faithful correspondent.

Panic Mode

    Hello there everyone, it's already Thursday!  This week I've been super busy, which has been both nice and horrible at the same time.  Nice because I'm not just sitting around doing nothing and horrible because I've been running around trying to get everything done...  I'm doing my best not to get discouraged with my job search, but I'm taking a little break this week from looking so I can look more next week while I don't have classes.  I also have two papers due this week, (one was due yesterday and the bigger one due tomorrow...yikes!), so I haven't had a lot of free time to peruse the Internet.

    One thing I am feeling a bit uneasy about is the internship I'm lining up for myself for next year.  This whole process has been daunting, to say the least, as well as uncomfortable.  It's literally like we're on a dating show; the interns visit prospective teachers to see what it's like in their classrooms, then, at the end of the month, we put our top three choices on a form and send it in to wait for a response, (the teachers do the same thing, only with their top three interns).  During this period of observation hours, you have to go into their classes and watch them teach.  I've always been one to sit in the corner and watch, responding to anything the teacher might say to me during the time we have together.  It's all very nice and you get to see what it's like to be in there with them without the responsibility of actually teaching.  More of a fly-on-the-wall thing.

    My issue right now is that everyone in my group of interns kind of already has their top three, which I think is supposed to be "secret," (I don't think we're supposed to tell anyone who we like the best just in case it doesn't work out or they're seeing the same person).  It's awkward most of all because I know a few people who have been seeing my favorite teacher when I'm not there and I'm afraid that we're going to lose that connection we made the first time I saw her.  I also don't know what everyone else is doing when they're in there: Do they help her out?  Organize classroom supplies? etc.  I never know if I'm doing too little or more than enough to make myself known and show that I'm interested, but you just have to wait and see.  It's frustrating because I don't want to lose out on my top picks by putting all my eggs in three symbolical baskets and having none of them put me on their lists.  It's a very confusing, stressful process and I already can't wait for it to be April so I know where I'm going to be.

    I guess I'm just nervous about potentially not finding anyone...  I want to make a connection with someone in a way that is comfortable for both parties, but it seems so forced sometimes.  You have to think about being with this teacher for an entire year, not getting sick of them, supporting their teaching style and being there for them when they need you.  That's a huge deal, and if everyone else isn't freaking out about this like I am then they are completely desensitized.  I'm also the type of person who HATES not knowing ahead of time what's going to happen.  I'm a planner: I have to plan EVERYTHING.  If I don't know what's going to happen, I get anxious and I do research, (if possible).  For example, while watching a TV show on Hulu that has already aired, I will look up the recap of the episode online to see what happens.  I do the same thing with movies, books, etc.  I don't know why, but I just don't like surprises.  With my life already unbalanced, I feel like I have no idea where I'll be next month, let alone next year.  I have to figure out what's going to happen to me, preferably soon.

    On a slightly happier note, let's talk about TV this week!  The two shows that I watched were Agents of SHIELD and How I Met Your Mother, and both had an amazingly good storyline.  SPOILERS AHEAD!...  So the main event in Agents of SHIELD was most definitely the blue man torso in T.A.H.I.T.I. when they broke into the "Guest House."  There are apparently many speculations about who this guy was, what species he is and where he comes from.  My husband and I took a guess and figured he may be one of the frost giants from the Thor series, which seemed most probable to us considering the relationship Thor has with the Avengers, (SHIELD as part of the Avengers), and also the appearance of some familiar Asgardians for the next episode, so we'll see about that.  We are also still researching other alien possibilities from the Marvel universe, including the Kree and an alien tribe on Centauri IV, but without any real clear clues as to who this may be, we're stuck wondering, probably until the end of the season if the previous episodes are any consolation.  I would also like to point out the fact that whatever "drug" Coulson and Skye were injected with has obvious alien properties, so now they have that to bond over.  What's that all about?  If you'd like to voice your opinion on this development, voice your opinions in the comments below.

    How I Met Your Mother was really sad this week, at least in my mind.  First with everyone realizing that this may be the last time in awhile that they will all be together in one place.  Then they hit us with a fast-forward to Ted crying over The Mother's comment about a mother being there for her daughter's wedding, which apparently made everyone believe that she's going to miss her own daughter's wedding, (meaning death).  I think, after this many years of not knowing, if they have the mother be dead at the end of all this, it might actually make sense.  I can see why a lot of people may be angry about waiting this long only to find out that she's already dead.  But I can see where the creators are coming from.  Why else would Ted spend this much time and effort telling his kids about how he met their mother?  I would have to go back to the very beginning to see how he started this conversation, but he may be paying homage to her in his own way.  She did tell him to not "live in his stories," but isn't that exactly what he's doing?  I don't know, I just know that I haven't wanted to cry like that about a television show in awhile, (not since "Same as it Never Was" from the TMNT animated series).
    I think that's it for now.  I have a paper to write!  Speaking of, my topic is actually quite interesting; it's about exploring the possibilities of technology as it pertains to understanding our students as people instead of just students.  I hope I do the subject justice.  If you want to learn more about what I'm researching or what I'm reading about digital literacy, let me know and I can put links to all my resources on my class page.  This weekend will be most welcome, considering I actually have plans and I can relax a little!  I have a birthday party tomorrow night and family dinner with the in-laws on Saturday, so that should be fun!  Spring Break starts next week too and, although I'm not going anywhere, I hope my husband and I can find some time for just the two of us.  Until next time, I remain your faithful correspondent.