Can I Keep You?

    Hello all!  The end of another week is in sight and I have to say this one was a lot better than the last.  I got some much-needed answers to my kidney questions, a chance to substitute teach for my cooperating teacher and got some packing done for the move.  And there seems to be free candy in my future, so that's a plus.  I've been in an incredibly good mood lately so let's hope that holds!
    I finally got to meet with my Rheumatologist to go over the results of my biopsy on Tuesday.  Nothing good, but I at least know what's going on.  Apparently, my kidneys are in a state where they need to be treated aggressively in order to combat the Lupus nephritis.  I'm currently at stage four, which is worse than I thought... (stages from 1-5, one being the lowest)  I feel fine, but we're still taking this seriously.  It will take two years for a full repair and recovery, but I'm ready for it.  Hopefully some good will come out of this and I might be able to start a family at the end of all this.  Thank you everyone for the positive thoughts, I really appreciate it.  Spoonies unite!

    I think one of the things contributing to my stellar mood lately is the prospect of moving out of this Godforsaken apartment.  At the beginning of the week, when I thought someone had stolen our recycle bin for a SECOND time, I thought I might lose it.  Luckily it has been recovered, but my hesitation about this neighborhood only grows by the day.  I've noticed that after awhile certain places I've lived lose their appeal.  It's usually around the two year mark where I get antsy and need a change of scenery.  This time it lasted a little less than that, but I still think we made the right decision.  Soon enough we will be able to breathe a sigh of relief.  Until then, I'll be living out of boxes and hoarding all the newspaper I can find.
    In teaching news, I had probably the best class I've had in awhile today.  Figures it was the one day that I walked in on a surprise subbing opportunity.  I had fun with my own kids and absolutely no problems with the other classes on my own.  I felt great all day and the fact that I had concrete plans in front of me helped cement that confidence.  Needless to say I feel that my first solo mission was a success, so hopefully I'll get to do more of them in the near future.  I actually felt in control for the first time in awhile, so maybe this is a sign that I will be ready come Trimester 2 when I get to take over my class again.  In less than three weeks that will be my reality, so fingers crossed!

    For TV I've got Once Upon a Time, Agents of Shield, The Flash and the Face Off finale.  By now you know there's spoilers a-brewin...  First, I'm really glad that Dina won this season of Face Off!  She's definitely the most improved all around, even though I don't believe she ever did anything terrible.  Definitely well deserved.
    Once was crazy this weekend!  Emma and Regina working together, the Emma flashbacks, Mary Margaret's lingering pregnancy brain and the Snow Queen with her surprise connection to Emma.  I'm kind of glad that Elsa took a little bit of a back seat this episode so they could focus more on the dynamic between Emma and Regina.  I'm also really happy that Emma is starting to open up more to Hook, which means that they could become a more serious thing.  The most shocking part of that episode was for sure the end, when Emma casually decides to watch a video from her past which happens to have the Snow Queen in her alternative form.  Apparently she used to work at wherever Emma was staying in foster care, (I think), which is huge!  I guess we'll find out soon what her real connection is to everyone and why she's so desperate for the dark power and someone to love.  Isn't that everyone's evil intention in a fairy tale world?
    Agents of Shield was interesting this week.  I have a funny feeling at least one person is lying, manipulating and/or planning something without the others knowing.  Mainly just Coulson, but I feel like he's always one step ahead of everyone else or in cahoots with the right people at the right time.  I felt very confused by the energy around Skye, Coulson and Ward.  I can't tell what's going on with them anymore, but it'll be interesting to see where Ward goes from here, now that he's broken himself out of prison.  Where Coulson was working closely with May for the last few episodes, now he seems to be trusting Skye a little more, so they might have something planned that the other members of the team aren't privy to.  This season has started a bit slow for me, but we'll see how these issues work themselves out.  At least they seem to have the support of the army now.

    I know I haven't talked about this particular show yet, but The Flash has proven to be very successful in the wake of shows similar, like Arrow.  Obviously because we watch Arrow we had to start watching Flash, especially because of all the potential crossovers, which happened this episode.  Felicity Smoak, everyone's favorite sexy tech lady, ended up in Central City for one day and seemed to have all the fun.  She is by now an expert at keeping secrets and hacking anyone's computer system, almost as fast as Barry can run.  I loved seeing her outside of Starling City, but it did feel weird to not have Oliver or Diggle there with her.  We know that the events happening now in The Flash happened awhile back from the Arrow perspective, but it still felt relevant.  Barry and Felicity have a mutual understanding for each other, so I hope we see more of her and possibly Barry over in Starling City, once this whole League of Assassins thing blows over...
    That's it folks!  I have so much to do and less time to do it in.  Tomorrow my plans are a simple night in, by myself, packing and watching as many Halloween-themed movies as I can handle.  I usually save Casper for the 31st.  Luckily my dad is awesome and saved me all his leftover candy from tonight's trick-or-treating festivities:)  Looking forward to the nest few weeks and making November my bitch.  Until next time, I remain your faithful correspondent.

The Equivalent of Screaming Into a Pillow

    Good evening everyone!  It has certainly been an exciting and hectic week...  I had lab work to get done Monday, baking and other preparations for the last few days for both parties taking place this afternoon, (hopefully the one I couldn't be at went well, or else I may be in trouble...), a team meeting during a delayed opening, finishing my pedagogy, (FINALLY), AND, to top it all off, we're officially moving in six weeks, which means they're starting to show our apartment tomorrow.  That is a long and very stressful list of things that I have had to get done without a lot of time to do any of them.

    Firstly, I did get my kidney biopsy results back with not a lot of good news, (not that I was expecting any).  My Lupus has spread to my kidneys, as we had thought, so now it's time to devise a plan for treatment.  Hopefully it won't be too difficult, but I'm anticipating at least some mildly uncomfortable side effects and/or long term damage to some other organ in my body.  It has been great feeling relatively normal these last few weeks, but I know that eventually I'm going to have to face whatever is coming and it won't be good.  Needless to say I have so much support it's ridiculous, so I wanted to publicly thank my husband for his understanding and his unrelenting patience when it comes to dealing with me when I'm needy.  I'd also like to thank my parents, both of whom have provided me with enough support, advice and love to last even the longest lifetime.  I honestly don't know what I would do without my family.

    Speaking of family, my mother has graciously offered us a place to stay.  We'll be moving back to my childhood home very soon, but it's a very different place.  We will practically have our own private apartment upstairs, complete with a full bathroom, bedroom, common area and even an office, (in the foreseeable future).  There is a lot of stigma surrounding adults moving back in with their parents, but in my situation it's actually a positive thing.  Moving back home does not always have to symbolize failure or disappointment.  It can actually be a great opportunity to get back on track, save money, live a healthier lifestyle and get in touch with your goals and aspirations.  Both my husband and I are very excited about this opportunity and this arrangement and look forward to reaching our goals so we can live the life we want to live.  If you told me six years ago that I would be living with my husband at my mother's house, I would've told you that you were crazy.  I'm very excited about the prospect of happiness and look forward to moving into a better environment.  Although, I'm not a huge fan of the moving process in general...  Boxing everything up and storing it for years at a time isn't my idea of fun, nor is moving said boxes from Point A to Point B in various vehicles.  I'm not looking forward to the process, but I am definitely looking forward to the end result.  We've already got a head start on cleaning because of all the scheduled showings, so it'll be easier to pick through the debris.  We're hoping to be out of here by Thanksgiving break at the latest.

    In teaching news, I've been working on setting up teacher observations anywhere and everywhere: within my school and subject area, outside my district, outside the state, etc.  Every opportunity is precious, so I have to make them count.  I'm looking forward to seeing how other professional teachers teach and the strategies I can take away to use in my own future teaching practices.  In seminar we've been asked to think about what constitutes a "professional teacher" and I'm hoping to find out through these observations.  If I've learned anything from this process so far, it's that the preconceived notions you may have going in aren't necessarily going to ring true by the end of your journey.  In other teaching news, I created this great lesson plan for a Halloween-themed "hero's journey" activity that I would really like to do with the kids, but don't think it'll happen because of time commitment issues, (and the fact that the 30th and 31st has already been planned...).  I just wanted to do something fun with the kids and take a break from the monotony of The Odyssey, but it may not be in the cards I guess.  I'll keep you posted on how it goes if it really does come to fruition, but I'm not holding my breath on this one.

    TV this week has been sparse, but I did get some Once in.  It was crazy confusing this past weekend.  The best part of the entire episode was Hook, (or Killian), and Emma's date, which was almost as awkward as I thought it would be.  Still very sweet, but we definitely need a second date in the near future.  That should give Hook time to sort out what the hell is going on with his hand.  I have absolutely no clue what's going on with Rumple at this point.  He seemed to have changed last season with his marriage to Belle, especially after he gave her back the real dagger.  But now, he's being a complete asshole to everyone for what seems like no reason.  The sorcerer's hat has triggered so many memories and events so far, so it's importance is imminent.  I'm excited about the prospect of introducing more elements of Fantasia into the mix, but when the poor apprentice got sucked into the depths of that black hole inside the hat I got a little scared.  The hat seemed so innocent and unknowing in Fantasia and now it's this evil black hole weapon thing...  I don't know how I feel about all this, but I do know by now that when Rumple wants something he will stop at nothing to get it.  Who knows what's going on with him ever?  I do think it's cute that Henry is attempting to infiltrate Rumple's "lair."  We'll see how well that works out.

    There's one more thing I've stumbled upon this week that I thought was interesting.  There's a community of book-loving readers on YouTube called "Booktube."  This community regularly posts videos and vlogs regarding book reviews, suggestions, book hauls, and more.  Each Booktube vlogger brings there own personal flair to their channel and I'm intrigued enough to explore this new community that might actually interest me.  I've been looking back into vlogging again and this might be an avenue I travel down, considering my profession.  Let me know what you think in the comments below.  I have everything I need to start, just need the time and the confidence to do it.

    That's all I got!  Even if I don't start my own Booktube channel, I will do my best to revamp my Book Reviews page on here and keep it updated as frequently as possible.  Now that I'm starting to read more for leisure it should be a lot easier.  Fingers crossed!  Until next time, I remain your faithful correspondent.

Back to the Grind

    Hello!  It has certainly been a nice week to come back to school.  I didn't realize that I would miss my students as much as I did, but it was terribly boring at home without them.  Unfortunately, it seems like they've been equally bored without me.  We're probably only a quarter through The Odyssey and they're already drowning in it.  Needless to say my cooperating teacher and I have our work cut out for us over the next few weeks.  But it is glad to be back.

    School has been a lot easier since we decided on co-teaching.  I've found that I'm able to get more work done, help out a little more around the room and get to know that kids a little better each day.  I already know them well enough, but just thinking about the rest of the year with them makes me feel great.  I'm looking forward to taking over come next Trimester, if I'm really ready.  I've already seen some massive improvements in some of the kids who were struggling before.  One in particular, one of my initial problem children, has proven to himself that reading isn't as bad as he thought it would be by actively seeking out books in a series he's loving right now.  Also, today actually, he was the only one in my class to get a 100% on our first grammar quiz!  I ran to catch up with him in the hallway outside my classroom after I graded all of them and he had the biggest smile!  It's stuff like this that makes me remember why I wanted to go into this profession and why I can't give up.  Right now I'm focusing on finishing my pedagogy statement that was supposed to be due last week, as well as other stuff for seminar a week from today.  Did I mention I'm hosting seminar next week too?  Time to decorate the classroom, bake a bunch of stuff to feed the masses and hope all goes well.

    As far as my health is concerned, nothing has really changed.  I feel that I've recovered better than expected from my biopsy and have had little to no complications.  That being said, I have noticed a few things I'm not happy about...like my hair falling out at a rapid rate and my feet and ankles swelling to abnormal sizes.  The fact that I now have cankles bothers me more than the fact that I'm slowly going bald.  The hair I can fix with a haircut, but when that might happen I have no idea.  I'm kind of looking forward to going back to short hair, as long as it looks like it did the last time I cut it.  I'm not sure how to fix the water retained in my lower extremities, but hopefully once we figure out what's wrong maybe it'll go away.  Now both doctors want me to get more blood work done by Monday, which is almost impossible considering I have NO time to run to both labs in one day, or even in two days really.  Plus it's not like the blood work will show anything different or anything that might help these side effects go away.  I'd rather not stay this way for longer than I have to...

    For TV this week, I'm going to focus on Once Upon a Time, Legend of Korra and Arrow, so put on your spoiler hats people.  So far Once has been juggling both the new Frozen storyline as well as the Regina plot to find her own happy ending.  I had a discussion today with a co-worker about possible angles and details that might give us viewers a clue as to what's really going on in Storybrooke, considering everyone apparently knows each other.  We know that Rumple is full of crap, the Snow Queen knows both Elsa and Emma, and Robin still has feelings for Regina.  Hook trying to blackmail Rumple was pretty cute, but I'm almost positive that Rumple will make him pay for that later on.  How is it Rumple is behind all of this stuff?  He knew that the house him and Belle spent their honeymoon in belonged to Merlin, (the hat from Fantasia gave it away), and he had contact with Anna, at least back in the Enchanted Forest, which he apparently doesn't remember, but I don't know if I buy that because he knows the Snow Queen, her relationship to Emma AND why she's here in the first place.  There's obviously something in it for him, so I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens.  What really bugs me is the relationship between Emma and the Snow Queen.  I think that Elsa's family tree might go a little further than she knew, but whether the Snow Queen is really her aunt or maybe someone a little closer is still up for debate.  They tend to drag these things out, so we may not even get an answer until the end of this season.  Also, did anyone else scream when they realized WILL IS BACK?!?  This won't be the last we see of him, but he was oddly familiar with the Snow Queen's business, so that's interesting...  So many questions, so little time!

    In Legend of Korra, we get to see where Korra has been this whole time, leading up to the big reveal at the end of TOPH!!  I was so excited to see someone from the original Avatar series other than Katara I almost fell off my chair.  We had been teased about a potential Toph/Avatar reunion last season, but I didn't think they would do it so soon.  Unfortunately, it looks like we'll have to wait a little longer for that conversation, considering that tomorrow's episode looks like it'll focus more on Mako and the new Earth kingdom.  I hate it when they do that...

    Arrow hasn't disappointed either as of late.  The murderous death of Sara came as a shock to me, honestly.  I didn't think they would kill her off at all.  We do know that she knew her attacker, so it's only a matter of time before Oliver connects the dots, probably with a little help from Laurel, who will most definitely take up a Canary alter-ego.  I hate the fact that Felicity was so close to bagging Oliver just to walk out on him to join The Atom, (unbeknownst to her, obviously).  I was really hoping for that connection, but I guess they just can't let it happen.  I am curious to see how they incorporate Thea back into the mix, now that she's been training heavily with her real father.  For what purpose still remains to be seen. but I sense a sibling cage match in our future at the very least.
    That's all from me for now.  I can't believe it's already the middle of October...  I feel like this month is moving by so fast and I don't have time to get everything done that I need to!  With everything I still have to do for school, work and my illness it's amazing I even find the energy to leave my bed every day.  Did I mention that my husband and I are crazy and we're thinking about moving soon?  When that'll be we have no idea, but hopefully it's before May.  We'd like to not freeze to death this winter or succumb to poverty, but who knows?  Everything in my life is still up in the air and it looks like it'll stay that way for awhile.  At this rate, I'm relieved to still have my sanity.  Until next time, I remain your faithful correspondent.

Health Update

    Hey everyone!  I'm currently on day two of my extra long weekend and I'm feeling much better.  I didn't want to post yesterday in order to give myself a little more time to recuperate after my operation, so I'm posting today instead.  Not a lot has happened in the last week or so, but I'll fill you in on the big things.

    My kidney biopsy went very well yesterday.  The staff at the hospital made me feel so much more comfortable about the whole situation that I would honestly do it again if I needed to.  I spent my entire day there, which was a bummer since it was the most perfect fall day outside.  Luckily I got to experience the outdoors today instead.  There were no immediate complications and I'm still a little sore and stuffed up, but otherwise I feel fine.  All my entry points are healing nicely without any discoloration and I've had almost no abdominal pain since I've been home.  The procedure, although initially very scary, wasn't as bad as I had imagined it to be.  The worst part of it all was probably putting in the IV and the distribution of the numbing agent through my back.  Overall it went well and I'm hoping that they got a decent sample to give me some answers in a week or two.
    As for teaching, I've been taking more of a back seat lately.  Due to my health issues and frequent absences, my professor and cooperating teacher thought it would be a good idea to follow a co-teaching model up until the end of the first trimester, (which will end up being sometime in November).  I'm hoping that I have my Lupus under control by that point where I can take on more of a leadership role.  I'm relieved to have a little more time to get some observations in, work on my pedagogy statement and focus more on following directions in the classroom so I can make sure I'm doing everything right.  Come spring I'd like to feel a little more confident in my teaching abilities and earn my cooperating teacher's trust back so that I can substitute and lead my class properly, but right now I know I'm not in a good spot to do that.  Sometimes in situations like mine you have to learn to be humble and take what you're given, even if you don't want to.

    It's also been awkward dealing with what I've come to recognize as my "new normal."  I've had Lupus for about 14 years now and for most of that time I was in remission.  I hadn't had to deal with any serious health problems since 8th grade, which was the last time I was hospitalized.  Now it seems that my body is changing rapidly in a negative way and I've never had to deal with something of this magnitude.  Over the last month or so since I've started teaching I've talked to my professor and cooperating teacher a lot about "accommodations" related to my health and I've never really thought about it like that before.  I've never thought of myself as someone who needed to be accommodated for and that makes me feel sort of fragile, like I'm not able to do the things I've always been able to do.  My "new normal" situation is sometimes frustrating and aggravating to the point where I just want to shut it all off.  Since I've been on the steroids it's been a lot easier to move around and do simple tasks like opening a bottle of water, but I'm afraid of what will happen when I'm done with them.  Will I be prescribed something that actually works for my whole body or will we ache through another month or two of trial and error until we find a combination that works for now?  There's a lot still up in the air and not a whole lot of explanation, but I guess that's what I've been given.  If I've learned anything from this experience, it's that sometimes you just have to roll with the punches.

    PREPARE FOR SPOILERS: As for TV for the last week, my husband and I ended up binge-watching everything we missed last week last Saturday so we're all caught up for now.  Bones made me cry and I really wish they didn't kill off Sweets...but it looks like it'll be a huge motivator for Booth and Brennan to catch whoever is behind it.  I also hope that Daisy doesn't name her child Seeley Sweets, but we'll see.  We watched the premier of Arrow last night and it was awesome for about two seconds.  I've wanted to see Oliver and Felicity together SO BADLY and then they're date was ruined and then he changed his mind and WHAT THE HELL OLIVER?!?  Also, killing off Sarah may or may not be a good move, but I guess we'll see how this plays out over the rest of the season.
    That's all I have for this week.  Monday is a holiday, hence the extra long weekend joyousness, so I'm back to school on Tuesday for an intern-friendly field trip.  Should be a nice, relaxing couple of days and I plan on taking full advantage of them:)  Until next time, I remain your faithful correspondent.

Hulking Out and Parent/Teacher Conferences

    So far, so good!  Hope everyone's doing ok.  I'm glad I at least talked myself into typing this up tonight, even though it's been a really long day.  I literally JUST got home from my first round of parent/teacher conferences, (it's about 9:30pm), and I can honestly say it wasn't terrible.  Luckily the two kids who had signed up to see me who are failing my class didn't show, but I'll have to deal with them later.  Most of my kids are great, well-behaved and acing my class, so I'm not too worried.

    I was a little worried at the end of last week, on Friday, because I got some really negative and harsh criticism/feedback from my cooperating teacher about my progress so far:(  I guess I wasn't doing as well as I had hoped...  It really hurt to hear her honesty, but I appreciated that she had the heart to tell me.  I'm not connecting with the kids in the right way, I'm still too soft on them, they talk over me STILL, I have some trouble makers who think they're smart asses who test my patience, and I guess overall I'm still not delivering the curriculum correctly, (or at least adequately enough to help them comprehend what I'm talking about).  I know that her suggestions and opinions are only supposed to help me and make me better over time, so I hope I can improve to a point where I'm proud of myself again.  Just today I got over the "I don't think I want to be a teacher anymore" feeling, so here's to a new leaf turning.  We just started a new unit on The Odyssey and we're doing a research project about monsters and Greek gods, so this should be fun!

    On the health front, I'm feeling so much better!  I'm on my second day of steroids and I can safely say I can't remember the last time it was easy for me to get out of bed in the morning.  It's been nice feeling "normal" for awhile, even though it won't last forever.  I have a month to see what's going on, but for now I'm focusing mostly on my upcoming biopsy, which is Thursday.  I'll have a long weekend to recover, but I'm still really scared about the procedure and complications...  I have an ultrasound on Monday which isn't terrible, but I have to "fast" for it, which means I can't eat for 12 hours, (2am-2pm).  NOT fun.  I think I'm going to cheat a little and get some jello and/or pudding, (who WOULDN'T want pudding?!)  Getting through the day is hard enough as it is, but with no food and all these 'roids coursing through my veins it'll be hard to survive the day.  Until we get the results back from the kidney biopsy, they won't know how bad my Lupus Nephritis is, so we'll have to wait and see.  It's probably not that serious, but dialysis still scares me, so I hope it doesn't come to that.

    On TV this past week, I've started a new show called The Red Band Society, in which the series is narrated by a child in a coma as a part of a terminally ill or intensive care unit for kids and teens in a hospital in California.  The doctor/surgeon is wicked hot, the characters are snarky despite their conditions and Nurse Jackson is my new spirit animal.  I'm happy there's a show like this on Fox and I can't wait to see what they do with it.  Gotham is another show I've been loving recently that just started.  Obviously my husband and I had to watch this one solely based on the Batman references, but it's surprisingly engaging without the bat.  I'm also excited to see where they take this series because they have a lot to work with and many directions they could take this.  So far I like the guy playing Gordon and I've always liked Donal Logue, so there's a win-win team right there.  I'm still getting over him being a viking...  I love how they've portrayed Selena Kyle so far and I can't wait to see how Bruce and Selena become friends, (or enemies).

    Other shows that have started but I haven't been able to get caught up on are Castle, Bones, (I know who dies...I'm DEVASTATED), Face Off, Agents of Shield, Reign, and The Amazing Race.  I did catch the premiere of Once Upon a Time last Sunday and it was AMAZING!  I'm not turned off about the Frozen team being there, especially if it means that Scott Michael Foster is back in my life again.  I literally screamed when I saw the sorcerer's hat from Fantasia morph from that box at Belle and Rumple's house, but we'll see what he does/doesn't do with that.  Also, the kiss between Emma and Hook proves that Captain Swan is alive and well!  So excited for this season and what they have up their sleeves.
    Well, that's all I have for this week.  I really have to go to bed...  Even though I'm feeling better physically, I'm still suffering from fatigue and my kidney issues.  I've also been really itchy lately, all over, so I'm not sure if I'm allergic to my father's fabric softener or if it's a side effect from the steroids, but I'll figure it out this weekend I think.  I should have an update next week.  I may have to push back my post until Friday, depending on how I feel next Thursday after my procedure, but we'll play it by ear.  Until next time, I remain your faithful correspondent.

PS: In other news, tomorrow is October 3rd.  I'm planning an impromptu Mean Girls Day celebration tomorrow in class.  You're welcome in advance kids:)