Fit Spoonie

    Hello friends!  For today's post, I'm going to chat a little bit about my fitness and health journey so far, including what I've been doing and the motivations behind my decision to do this.  It's been fairly easy to adjust to this, especially for a newer lifestyle change.  This post is especially designed for my fellow Spoonies and anyone else who is struggling with weight, self confidence, eating habits, etc.

    I began my healthy eating towards the end of July, right before I went on my week-long vacation.  I jumped on board with my friend Katie, of Cookies N' Kale fame, to jump-start my healthy eating lifestyle with a little "accountabilabuddy."  This just means that we check in with each other and log our food to make sure each of us is staying on track.  So far I've been doing really well at logging and keeping in touch, so I hope that continues once we both start grad school again.  We keep each other accountable for the choices we make and we also help each other stick to our goals and share recipes.  The collaboration has been really great so far and I've found that I've been able to stick with it a lot better since I'm doing this with someone else.  Here's to the buddy system!

(grilled chicken thighs with local mixed greens, tomatoes and an Italian hemp dressing)

    The main reason I wanted to jump on the clean/healthy eating bandwagon was because of my health issues.  As most of you already know, I have Lupus, among other things, including Lupus nephritis, which has been wreaking havoc on my kidneys for about a year now, (has it really already been a year?!)  Needless to say it's been a whirlwind romance with my latest ailment and it definitely hasn't been easy adjusting to my new normal.  At this point in my life, I've been struggling and living with my Lupus for about 14 years now, so I'm pretty used to my body and how it works.  Unfortunately, this disease comes with a few nasty side effects.  Just the medication alone has been difficult to deal with, let alone my kidneys not functioning properly.  Unfortunately, I do need medication to combat this thing, otherwise I would totally be into the holistic method, but I'd rather not die sooner than I have to.  In order to help myself and keep myself healthy for as long as possible, changing my eating habits will be the first step on a long road to recovery.

    The one thing I can control is my eating habits, which have been abysmal for most of my adult life.  I'm Irish and Italian, which is a dangerous combination when it comes to consuming food at family gatherings.  My entire diet has been based on the potato and pasta as a base, so that needed to change before I could make any significant progress.  I totally still miss pasta sometimes, but I've found that I don't crave it as much any more.  It's fine in small amounts and in whole grain form, but not every week or every meal.  Same with potatoes.  We just had baked potatoes the other night for dinner, but before that I couldn't tell you the last time I ate one.  It's sad giving up some of my favorite foods, but that just means I have to find ways to eat them that are similar, but healthier.  Subbing sweet potatoes or root veggies instead of the standard white potato and whole-grain rice instead of pasta has proven to be just as tasty and effective.  This way, I don't have to relinquish my heritage by way of food.

(homemade white pizza with local kale, caramelized local onions and sunflower sprouts)

    So far it's been about a month since I started this thing and I think it's going well.  There are still some things I need to work on, (like my willpower and weaning off my cheat days/meals), but overall I think I've made some progress.  The more I eat clean and healthy, the less I'll want to eat the crappy foods I loved before.  Finding snack alternatives has been the trickiest part of this situation, but I've found that snacking on raw veggies and fruit and cheese has been just as satisfying, if not more so, than grabbing a box of Cheezits.  I've also been eager and willing to try new and interesting healthy recipes I've found on Pinterest, so you can follow me there to see what recipes I've pinned.  I've also started posting pictures of some of my meals on Instagram, so follow me there as well, (links to all my social media are on the right!)  I still have a long way to go before this lifestyle is embedded in my system, but it's a good start and I'm up for the challenge.  I'm hoping to at least lose some weight by this time next year.

    If you're curious and confused about where to start, check out some fitness and foodie blogs and YouTube channels.  I like the Muffin Topless blog because she has some great recipes as well as some great fitness tips and plans.  I really also like the Anti Beauty Queen on YouTube because she's funny and a real person you can relate to.  She usually posts food related stuff, but everything she makes looks really good!  Those are just my personal faves, but honestly I get most of my recipe ideas from Pinterest, so if you don't have an account already WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!  It's literally the best resource for finding recipes, so I'd give that a shot first!  You're actually likely to find a blogger whose recipes you really like through Pinterest as well.  If you have a chronic illness or you just want to adapt a healthier lifestyle, I definitely recommend eating clean and local foods and adding more produce to your diet, as a general guideline.

(marinated salmon over local mixed greens)

    If you have a chronic illness and have questions about clean eating, let me know in the comments!  Also, make sure to follow me on social media to follow me on my clean-eating journey and keep up with my health improvements.  If you have an awesome healthy recipe you want me to try, leave that in the comments as well!  I might try to post more about my healthy eating, including pictures and a detailed entry of what I ate during the week, but we'll see.  If you'd enjoy that, let me know!  Until next time, I remain your faithful correspondent.

Why I'm A Recluse

    Hello there everyone.  I've decided that, for the time being, I'll be posting primarily on Tuesdays and Thursdays, unless something comes up and I have to plan accordingly.  I haven't figured out a set schedule for posts yet, but there may not be one.  That being said, this is only tentative as I'm not sure how my commitment will waver once I finally get a job.  If I forgot to mention it, I've been unemployed since early June and I'm working on it.  I will also be starting online coursework in January for my new Master's in Library and Information Studies degree, (yes, this is a long way away and no, I'm not crazy, just tethered to the higher educational system, clearly).  Again, this may impede my scheduling commitment, but for now, let's see how this goes.

    Today, I'm going to talk a little bit more about myself.  As some of you already know, I have Systemic Lupus Erythematosis, or Lupus for short.  This is an autoimmune disease that affects most of my body, including my internal organs, which has been the bane of my existence for the last 15 years or so.  Currently, I'm fighting off kidney disease and possible failure, but it's gotten a lot better since last summer when I was severely close to needing dialysis.  I've been on a multitude of medications, including drugs intended for patients going through chemotherapy and steroids to help with everything from swelling joints to an inflamed heart.  I've been feeling much better as of late, but I still have a long road to possible recovery, which is still not guaranteed.

    Why am I telling you all this?  Well, it has everything to do with why I enjoy spending as much time inside as humanly possible.  I would trade an afternoon at the beach on a nice day like today for a quiet afternoon in my bedroom reading a book or four.  Technically I've been a self-proclaimed introvert for as long as I can remember.  I know I wasn't always this way because I used to be spunky and outgoing when I was younger.  I have no idea when my personality flipped or when I decided that being quiet and out of the way was easier, but by high school, I was the girl walking head-down through the hallways, trying to get to her next class without getting pushed or stepped on.

    It was a different story when I was with my friends.  Once you get to know me, I'm a bit of a weirdo.  I love making people laugh and many of my friends come to me for advice on the rare occasion that they need any.  I tend to keep a close group of about a dozen good friends nowadays because it's a lot easier and they satisfy my need for happiness.  I enjoy the time I spend with my friends, when I do spend time with them, which has become a rarity as of late.  This isn't because I dislike my friends, but because I hate interacting with people in general.  It takes a lot of my willpower to force myself to hang out with my friends and it took me a long time to figure out why this was a problem.  I love all my friends and family dearly, but there's something else at work here that I felt like explaining.

    It's difficult having an invisible illness like Lupus.  You never know if you're going to wake up exhausted or sore or any other combination of things.  There are variables you have to consider, like making sure you have sunscreen on before you go outside so your kidneys don't suffer or taking a bottle of Advil with you in your purse, just in case.  No amount of coffee could ever correct the chronic fatigue I experience on a daily basis, so it just becomes another mundane routine.  Not a lot of people realize that it's difficult to just get out of bed in the morning, let alone leave the house and get things done.  I've discussed "Spoon Theory" briefly before I think, but I'll leave the link here for those of you who are interested.  Basically, this theory discusses the idea that "Spoonies," or people with chronic illnesses, have a specific number of "spoons" they can use throughout a typical day.  Once those "spoons" are gone, so is their motivation and energy.  A normal human being has an unlimited amount of "spoons" to use in a day and they don't understand what it's like to make decisions based on how many spoons you have.  We need to pick and choose how we use ourselves each day for fear of crashing too early.

    This is why I plan out most of my days in advance.  I'm also mildly OCD, (Onychophagia), but that's besides the point.  The drugs I'm on don't help my mood either.  They've had affected everything in my life, including my appearance and my relationships with people I care about, like my husband and my friends.  The steroids were the worst part and they're one of the main reasons I spent a good portion of time indoors.  While the steroids helped with inflammation and pain, the side effects were less than satisfactory.  I gained a considerable amount of weight, so much so that I felt embarrassed to go out in public because I didn't look like myself.  I tried everything to get the swelling in my face to go down, but to no avail.  I looked like someone who just had their wisdom teeth out on both sides, only it stayed like that for months.  On top of that, because of the severity of my kidney failure, my hair had begun to fall out again, so I had to cut most of it off.  Although I got used to my new hair cut, the hair loss was still relatively noticeable.  I didn't want anyone to see me like that, so I stayed hidden, only leaving to go to work or school, if I had to.  It was a tough time for me and my self esteem.  No one really prepares you for that when they prescribe you medication.

    Due to the strenuous nature of my disease, coupled with the effects of the steroids and other drugs I've pumped into my body, my desire for human interaction has plummeted.  After spending so much time in the house, it's been difficult for me to find my way back outside again.  I've gotten much better and, since being off the steroids, my face has gone back to normal and I've even lost weight.  I have really no reason to stay inside other than the mental repercussions of what I've gone through over the last year.  I wanted to tell this side of my story because it's one that gets little to no attention in the world of chronic disease.  I'm not the only one who's suffered at the hands of steroids and other drugs with physically altering side effects.  I also wanted my friends and family to be aware that even though I may not attend every party or get-together that may come along, I am not avoiding you.  I am actively working on getting out more and experiencing things that I used to enjoy.  I still have to be careful and it definitely won't be easy, but I will try to make a conscious effort to include myself in things.  I'm hoping that next year will be my year to get back to whatever "normal" means for me now.  Thanks for reading and understanding.  I promise that the next post won't be as deep, but I had to get this off my chest.  Until next time, I remain your faithful correspondent.

Updates!

  I'm back!  Sorry that took so long, but I really needed a break.  A lot has happened since the holidays, so I'll try to catch you up to speed.  I have announcements, health updates and even a review of The Bachelor so far, which I've missed terribly!  I'm also going to be updating my "Book Reviews" tab with my most recent finished novel, The Bone Season by Samantha Shannon.  At this point, I'm going to try to get back into my regular blogging routine so I don't lose my luster, so we'll see how that goes, but I'm at least going to give it a shot.  Can't hurt, right?

  First things first: health.  Not that I really need to update you all on this, but I've been doing alright.  Over the holidays I did have a serious flare up situation, (just Christmas Eve and Day mostly, you know, the important days...), in which I could barely walk and that is not an exaggeration.  My husband had to carry me around at times, (which was less than stellar and incredibly degrading), but it was all due to a lack of drugs and once I got those back I went back to "normal."  Needless to say the holidays were a lot more stressful than I had originally anticipated, but I'm glad I survived.  More recently I've been battling the ever-present virus that keeps circulating around my profession.  Working with kids has its downsides and constant exposure to various illnesses is only one of them.  I ended up catching some sort of upper respiratory virus, which was actually the flu in disguise, and gave that to my mother, who has been miserable.  We currently have at least three boxes of Puffs Plus Vicks going downstairs as well as two boxes each of DayQuil and NyQuil, among other things.  Luckily I haven't been working because of back-to-back snow days, which have picked this week to drop at least two feet of snow on us.  So I've been spending most of my time inside, in comfy pants watching Netflix, reading and working on my colloquium for my internship.

  Nice segue, self!  Right now my internship is at a stand-still.  I recently made the decision, after the holidays, to forgo teaching at the high school level in favor of having the opportunity to teach at the middle school level.  Although I'm glad to be out of my high school nightmare, I'm currently in limbo regarding my middle school placement.  It's been about two weeks at this point since I officially left my freshman and although I miss some of them, I miss being in the classroom more.  I've been trying to be as patient as I can, but it's difficult when you aren't in control and there's literally nothing you can do to speed things up.  I've been trying to keep myself busy, but I feel like I'm slowly losing my sanity.  I don't want to lose anything I've built up over the last few months.  I feel like I haven't done anything meaningful with my life in awhile and that I need to do something productive to help reaffirm my passions.  That's partially why I've been trying to read more for leisure, just so I can become a more literate English teacher, (which should be a no-brainer).  I don't want to lose the connection I have to my subject matter and I don't want to lose my excitement over the prospect of teaching my preferred age group, but it's slowly getting less bearable.  I've been trying to come up with curriculum units I could do with an imaginary class, seeing as all my other intern friends are either planning or currently teaching their solo week plans.  I feel like I'm falling behind, but not by choice, and it's frustrating.  Hopefully I hear something about where I'm going by next week, but at this point I'm not holding my breath.  I'm just hoping something happens for me so that I can continue to improve and finish strong.  I didn't realize just how close we were to the end up until a few weeks ago, but by April I'll be expected to look for jobs for next year.  By May I'll hopefully have my Masters degree and register for graduation.  My final months of university are approaching.  YIKES.

  As I said before, I have a lot more free time on my hands at the moment, so I'd like to use it accordingly to improve on and rediscover my passions.  I got a lot of books for Christmas, so I plan on trying to get through as many of them as possible and add to my collection along the way.  I've been spending a lot more time on Goodreads, updating my profile and my lists so that I can get more accurate recommendations.  I've also been watching more BookTube YouTubers to get book recommendations and to see what's out there, what's popular and what other readers are most excited about.  I was seriously considering turning my YouTube channel into a BookTube channel, but I'm still working on that.  I've determined that I really don't like being on camera, especially now that I don't look my best when I'm sick and I'm very self conscious about my appearance.  I would, however, like to continue to blog and write about books, seeing as that's my area of expertise.  I will see if I can update my tabs to include a link to my Goodreads account, but until then you can find me here.  I will try my best to keep up with this and hopefully my love of books will continue to grow.

  Lastly, we have reviews.  I have been watching this latest season of The Bachelor with much enthusiasm.  Starting with over 30 women was exhausting, but now that we're already down to 11 it feels manageable.  The most important things I took away from the first three episodes are that Ashley's are still my least favorite kind of people, Canadians are awesome, there IS such a thing as too much country, (and whiskey), muscles and competition aren't everything, and there can be more than one virgin in the house at a time.  Needless to say it's been an interesting season so far, culminating into what I believe are the three top ladies at this point: Kaitlyn, Whitney and Jade.  It's obvious that Chris has a natural connection with Kaitlyn.  She's obnoxious, care-free and ridiculously funny.  She's not afraid to get down and dirty outside or open up about her feelings.  She seems like an all-around great girl and a great fit for Chris, who seeks normalcy above all else.  She's my front runner at the moment, so I'm rooting for her.

  Jade is my second favorite, solely because of her genuine nature and girl-next-door vibe.  She's quiet, but respectful and patient, and Chris notices her anyway.  I also think they would be great together, but we'll have to see if she stands out over Kaitlyn.  Jade totally deserved that Cinderella date!  Ashely I. was getting on my nerves, complaining about her lack of pampering.  The reason the sisters chose Jade is because she doesn't normally get this sort of treatment and deserved to get some, not because she would look good in the expensive, outlandish ballroom attire.  That wasn't the point and the fact that Ashley somehow missed that makes me think she's not long for this show.  Obviously she's not right for Chris.  Those Jersey girls can't be trusted around shiny objects...

  Whitney I'd rather not like, but I can't deny that her and Chris had a pretty rad date crashing that wedding.  Their connection is also obvious, so I'm curious to see if it will eventually outshine or succumb to Kaitlyn's or Jade's.  Next week's episode looks like we'll be seeing more drama unfold from unlikely sources, so anything is possible!  If you'd like another place to get recaps of The Bachelor, I particularly love Mel Got Served.  She's hilarious and has a unique approach to reviewing each episode.  She also does recaps of other popular reality television programs, so if you're into that, please go check her out!
  That's all I have for this week.  I think that's enough actually...  If I'm still not doing anything next week, I should be able to upload my blog on time, or at least at a decent time.  I'm thinking about adding one or two more shows to recap along with The Bachelor, but I'm having trouble narrowing it down.  I just started watching Agent Carter, in addition to Arrow, The Flash, Gotham and Agents of Shield, which are all returning from their mid-season finales.  I've gotten to the point where I have too many shows to watch that I've gotten behind, so I'm trying to catch up.  The Amazing Race is starting again soon, as is Vikings, which I'm very excited about, so maybe I'll leave it at that.  Let me know what you guys think and what shows you'd like recaps and/or reviews of.  Until next time, I remain your faithful correspondent.

Looking Forward to November

    Hey guys, sorry to post on a Friday, but I was desperately in need of a break this week.  The first three days were awful and long, so it felt nice to just sit and relax for a night without having to do anything.  I've also spent little to no time with my husband since he's been working so much, so it was great to get that alone time with him.  Needless to say I'm beyond ready for a weekend and a chance to sleep in tomorrow!
    Health-wise I've been feeling great.  Still no obvious side effects from the drugs and no pain in my joints or anywhere else.  The only thing I've been noticing lately has been cramping in my hands and feet.  I don't think it's supposed to be as frequent as it has been and that is a bit concerning, seeing as it can get quite painful.  Hopefully it's not a side effect but a lack of water consumption on my part, which I've been trying to improve on.  You wouldn't think it would be that difficult to down about 6-8 bottles of water a day, but it's definitely a struggle for someone like me who's always doing something.

    We are also still in the process of moving.  It's full-force now so we're packing up everything we can as quickly as we can in order to get everything out within the next two weeks.  We have been house-sitting for my parents this week, so neither of us have been at the apartment, but I'm going over there today after school to work on packing up the living room and our bedroom.  My short term goals are to have the living room and bedroom done by next weekend so we can start on packing up the kitchen, which will probably take us the longest time because of all our large and breakable items.  There is also a serious lack of newspaper and other packing supplies, so hopefully we are able to wrap everything properly.  Next week will be a bit crazy, but I feel confident that we can have everything out of our apartment by the 22nd.  We'll see how that goes, but right now we seem to be right on track!  It'll be nice not to have to worry about too much anymore after Thanksgiving break.  Then I can finally start planning to save up for the things I need!  I can't wait!
    As far as teaching goes, I had a meeting yesterday with my cooperating teacher and my professor about starting the transition back into a leadership role in the classroom for the start of Trimester 2, which starts in two weeks.  I believe I'm more ready and confident now than I was at the beginning of the year and that's partially due to the way my health has improved over the last month or so.  I'm feeling better, so I feel more focused on what's going on in my class rather than what's going on outside of school.  I've been giving myself little pep talks and trying to remember everything I've learned and observed so far from my observations, so hopefully that will help me discover what kind of teacher I will become as I try taking control again.  We'll be starting our "Poetry Out Loud" unit after exams, which I will be following with my cooperating teacher.  After that, I will be creating my own lessons and running a unit on my own, so I'll be prepping for that in the coming weeks.  I'm actually excited about planning again because I feel like I have some good ideas and I have easy access to other teacher's ideas as well, so I'm looking forward to teaching my own stuff soon.  I have a colloquium planning day next Thursday, which is a mandatory workshop for interns in the teaching program where you learn more about educational law, practice and your subject area.  I plan on taking full advantage of the day so I can better prepare myself for what's to come.  One of my previous professors is running the English seminar, so I'm excited to see and learn from her again.

    TV was sparse again this week, partially because I have to wait for my husband to watch most of our shows, but also because half of them didn't air this week.  I have Once Upon a Time and Arrow for this week, which were both pretty intense.  We finally find out that Elsa's mother had not one, but TWO sisters, Ingrid and Helga, at least one of which had the same ice powers as Elsa.  We also find out what Ingrid, (the Snow Queen), has been trying to plan this whole time- a chance to have her perfect family.  She wants to use the evil mirror to turn everyone in Storybrooke against each other, except for Elsa and Emma, (whom Ingrid believes would be a perfect replacement for Helga, since she apparently doesn't have the time to try to look for her too).  Those scary movies where the creepy stalker is dead-set on constructing his or her perfect family out of people they pull off the street at random really makes my skin crawl.  Despite the Snow Queen's plot to destroy everyone in Storybrooke being revealed, this episode was mainly focused on Belle and her relationship to Anna, as well as her role in her disappearance.  After Belle's mother is killed in the Ogre Wars and Belle loses her memory of the attack, she goes on a mission to Arendelle to find a way to get her memories back from the Rock Trolls, which Anna helps her do.  Unfortunately, through a series of events, Belle ends up choosing her memories over saving Anna from falling to her doom, causing Anna to be taken by the Snow Queen.  Belle is wracked with guilt over causing her disappearance, so she seeks out the Snow Queen to see if she can redeem herself, with the help of her lying, deceiving husband.  I still think everyone in Storybrooke is lying to each other, which bugs me, but I guess that's the theme in this season, so we'll have to go with it.  We still haven't found Anna, (it might just take the whole season), but at least we might get to meet Helga this Sunday.  We'll see!

    Arrow was pretty interesting this week, focusing on my favorite character, Felicity Smoak and her mysterious past as a "hacktivist" back in college.  Obviously Felicity's special skills were needed to solve this cyber terrorist attack on Starling City, but it wouldn't be that easy.  We got to see Felicity as a Gothic rebel with a fellow hacker boyfriend and awkward roommate.  This set up made me think of the Ted/Marshall/Lily dynamic from How I Met Your Mother.  Anyway, Felicity's sleazy mom stumbles into town unexpectedly, (which is all part of the plan, we later find out), Diggle gives her his baby to watch, (a complete stranger?!), and spends the whole episode basically in the dark while Felicity tries to help both her bosses tackle this cyber bully, who is using her own virus from five years ago to steal money from Starling.  Although this episode was great because we see a different side of Felicity and a reconciling between Ollie and his sister, (who now has a sweet new apartment), the REAL mind-blowing moment of this episode comes at the end, (figures), where we find out WHO killed Sara.  It was ROY!!  In a mirakuru-filled stupor he literally threw arrows into Sara's chest, which is weird because he should have it under control by now.  I don't think he's working with anyone in secret, but I do think he needs help, so who knows when everyone else will find out the awful truth and eventually turn on Roy.  Didn't see that coming!
    That's all for this week!  It's finally November, so that means I've slowly been turning into a holiday-crazed lunatic trying to find any excuse to buy Yankee Candles.  With moving into a more comfortable home, more school vacation days and Thanksgiving so close now, it's hard not to get excited about the holidays coming up.  It puts me in a great mood, so I'm not complaining!  I'm looking forward to everything I have coming up in the weeks to come, so hopefully that propels me forward to achieve everything I want to get done this month.  I'll be moving pretty much all weekend, both for myself and my uncle, who just bought a new house, so I'll be working my upper body strength this weekend.  What are you looking forward to this month, if anything?  Let me know in the comments below!  I also posted a new Book Review in my review tab, so check that out as well!  Until next time, I remain your faithful correspondent.
   

Can I Keep You?

    Hello all!  The end of another week is in sight and I have to say this one was a lot better than the last.  I got some much-needed answers to my kidney questions, a chance to substitute teach for my cooperating teacher and got some packing done for the move.  And there seems to be free candy in my future, so that's a plus.  I've been in an incredibly good mood lately so let's hope that holds!
    I finally got to meet with my Rheumatologist to go over the results of my biopsy on Tuesday.  Nothing good, but I at least know what's going on.  Apparently, my kidneys are in a state where they need to be treated aggressively in order to combat the Lupus nephritis.  I'm currently at stage four, which is worse than I thought... (stages from 1-5, one being the lowest)  I feel fine, but we're still taking this seriously.  It will take two years for a full repair and recovery, but I'm ready for it.  Hopefully some good will come out of this and I might be able to start a family at the end of all this.  Thank you everyone for the positive thoughts, I really appreciate it.  Spoonies unite!

    I think one of the things contributing to my stellar mood lately is the prospect of moving out of this Godforsaken apartment.  At the beginning of the week, when I thought someone had stolen our recycle bin for a SECOND time, I thought I might lose it.  Luckily it has been recovered, but my hesitation about this neighborhood only grows by the day.  I've noticed that after awhile certain places I've lived lose their appeal.  It's usually around the two year mark where I get antsy and need a change of scenery.  This time it lasted a little less than that, but I still think we made the right decision.  Soon enough we will be able to breathe a sigh of relief.  Until then, I'll be living out of boxes and hoarding all the newspaper I can find.
    In teaching news, I had probably the best class I've had in awhile today.  Figures it was the one day that I walked in on a surprise subbing opportunity.  I had fun with my own kids and absolutely no problems with the other classes on my own.  I felt great all day and the fact that I had concrete plans in front of me helped cement that confidence.  Needless to say I feel that my first solo mission was a success, so hopefully I'll get to do more of them in the near future.  I actually felt in control for the first time in awhile, so maybe this is a sign that I will be ready come Trimester 2 when I get to take over my class again.  In less than three weeks that will be my reality, so fingers crossed!

    For TV I've got Once Upon a Time, Agents of Shield, The Flash and the Face Off finale.  By now you know there's spoilers a-brewin...  First, I'm really glad that Dina won this season of Face Off!  She's definitely the most improved all around, even though I don't believe she ever did anything terrible.  Definitely well deserved.
    Once was crazy this weekend!  Emma and Regina working together, the Emma flashbacks, Mary Margaret's lingering pregnancy brain and the Snow Queen with her surprise connection to Emma.  I'm kind of glad that Elsa took a little bit of a back seat this episode so they could focus more on the dynamic between Emma and Regina.  I'm also really happy that Emma is starting to open up more to Hook, which means that they could become a more serious thing.  The most shocking part of that episode was for sure the end, when Emma casually decides to watch a video from her past which happens to have the Snow Queen in her alternative form.  Apparently she used to work at wherever Emma was staying in foster care, (I think), which is huge!  I guess we'll find out soon what her real connection is to everyone and why she's so desperate for the dark power and someone to love.  Isn't that everyone's evil intention in a fairy tale world?
    Agents of Shield was interesting this week.  I have a funny feeling at least one person is lying, manipulating and/or planning something without the others knowing.  Mainly just Coulson, but I feel like he's always one step ahead of everyone else or in cahoots with the right people at the right time.  I felt very confused by the energy around Skye, Coulson and Ward.  I can't tell what's going on with them anymore, but it'll be interesting to see where Ward goes from here, now that he's broken himself out of prison.  Where Coulson was working closely with May for the last few episodes, now he seems to be trusting Skye a little more, so they might have something planned that the other members of the team aren't privy to.  This season has started a bit slow for me, but we'll see how these issues work themselves out.  At least they seem to have the support of the army now.

    I know I haven't talked about this particular show yet, but The Flash has proven to be very successful in the wake of shows similar, like Arrow.  Obviously because we watch Arrow we had to start watching Flash, especially because of all the potential crossovers, which happened this episode.  Felicity Smoak, everyone's favorite sexy tech lady, ended up in Central City for one day and seemed to have all the fun.  She is by now an expert at keeping secrets and hacking anyone's computer system, almost as fast as Barry can run.  I loved seeing her outside of Starling City, but it did feel weird to not have Oliver or Diggle there with her.  We know that the events happening now in The Flash happened awhile back from the Arrow perspective, but it still felt relevant.  Barry and Felicity have a mutual understanding for each other, so I hope we see more of her and possibly Barry over in Starling City, once this whole League of Assassins thing blows over...
    That's it folks!  I have so much to do and less time to do it in.  Tomorrow my plans are a simple night in, by myself, packing and watching as many Halloween-themed movies as I can handle.  I usually save Casper for the 31st.  Luckily my dad is awesome and saved me all his leftover candy from tonight's trick-or-treating festivities:)  Looking forward to the nest few weeks and making November my bitch.  Until next time, I remain your faithful correspondent.

The Equivalent of Screaming Into a Pillow

    Good evening everyone!  It has certainly been an exciting and hectic week...  I had lab work to get done Monday, baking and other preparations for the last few days for both parties taking place this afternoon, (hopefully the one I couldn't be at went well, or else I may be in trouble...), a team meeting during a delayed opening, finishing my pedagogy, (FINALLY), AND, to top it all off, we're officially moving in six weeks, which means they're starting to show our apartment tomorrow.  That is a long and very stressful list of things that I have had to get done without a lot of time to do any of them.

    Firstly, I did get my kidney biopsy results back with not a lot of good news, (not that I was expecting any).  My Lupus has spread to my kidneys, as we had thought, so now it's time to devise a plan for treatment.  Hopefully it won't be too difficult, but I'm anticipating at least some mildly uncomfortable side effects and/or long term damage to some other organ in my body.  It has been great feeling relatively normal these last few weeks, but I know that eventually I'm going to have to face whatever is coming and it won't be good.  Needless to say I have so much support it's ridiculous, so I wanted to publicly thank my husband for his understanding and his unrelenting patience when it comes to dealing with me when I'm needy.  I'd also like to thank my parents, both of whom have provided me with enough support, advice and love to last even the longest lifetime.  I honestly don't know what I would do without my family.

    Speaking of family, my mother has graciously offered us a place to stay.  We'll be moving back to my childhood home very soon, but it's a very different place.  We will practically have our own private apartment upstairs, complete with a full bathroom, bedroom, common area and even an office, (in the foreseeable future).  There is a lot of stigma surrounding adults moving back in with their parents, but in my situation it's actually a positive thing.  Moving back home does not always have to symbolize failure or disappointment.  It can actually be a great opportunity to get back on track, save money, live a healthier lifestyle and get in touch with your goals and aspirations.  Both my husband and I are very excited about this opportunity and this arrangement and look forward to reaching our goals so we can live the life we want to live.  If you told me six years ago that I would be living with my husband at my mother's house, I would've told you that you were crazy.  I'm very excited about the prospect of happiness and look forward to moving into a better environment.  Although, I'm not a huge fan of the moving process in general...  Boxing everything up and storing it for years at a time isn't my idea of fun, nor is moving said boxes from Point A to Point B in various vehicles.  I'm not looking forward to the process, but I am definitely looking forward to the end result.  We've already got a head start on cleaning because of all the scheduled showings, so it'll be easier to pick through the debris.  We're hoping to be out of here by Thanksgiving break at the latest.

    In teaching news, I've been working on setting up teacher observations anywhere and everywhere: within my school and subject area, outside my district, outside the state, etc.  Every opportunity is precious, so I have to make them count.  I'm looking forward to seeing how other professional teachers teach and the strategies I can take away to use in my own future teaching practices.  In seminar we've been asked to think about what constitutes a "professional teacher" and I'm hoping to find out through these observations.  If I've learned anything from this process so far, it's that the preconceived notions you may have going in aren't necessarily going to ring true by the end of your journey.  In other teaching news, I created this great lesson plan for a Halloween-themed "hero's journey" activity that I would really like to do with the kids, but don't think it'll happen because of time commitment issues, (and the fact that the 30th and 31st has already been planned...).  I just wanted to do something fun with the kids and take a break from the monotony of The Odyssey, but it may not be in the cards I guess.  I'll keep you posted on how it goes if it really does come to fruition, but I'm not holding my breath on this one.

    TV this week has been sparse, but I did get some Once in.  It was crazy confusing this past weekend.  The best part of the entire episode was Hook, (or Killian), and Emma's date, which was almost as awkward as I thought it would be.  Still very sweet, but we definitely need a second date in the near future.  That should give Hook time to sort out what the hell is going on with his hand.  I have absolutely no clue what's going on with Rumple at this point.  He seemed to have changed last season with his marriage to Belle, especially after he gave her back the real dagger.  But now, he's being a complete asshole to everyone for what seems like no reason.  The sorcerer's hat has triggered so many memories and events so far, so it's importance is imminent.  I'm excited about the prospect of introducing more elements of Fantasia into the mix, but when the poor apprentice got sucked into the depths of that black hole inside the hat I got a little scared.  The hat seemed so innocent and unknowing in Fantasia and now it's this evil black hole weapon thing...  I don't know how I feel about all this, but I do know by now that when Rumple wants something he will stop at nothing to get it.  Who knows what's going on with him ever?  I do think it's cute that Henry is attempting to infiltrate Rumple's "lair."  We'll see how well that works out.

    There's one more thing I've stumbled upon this week that I thought was interesting.  There's a community of book-loving readers on YouTube called "Booktube."  This community regularly posts videos and vlogs regarding book reviews, suggestions, book hauls, and more.  Each Booktube vlogger brings there own personal flair to their channel and I'm intrigued enough to explore this new community that might actually interest me.  I've been looking back into vlogging again and this might be an avenue I travel down, considering my profession.  Let me know what you think in the comments below.  I have everything I need to start, just need the time and the confidence to do it.

    That's all I got!  Even if I don't start my own Booktube channel, I will do my best to revamp my Book Reviews page on here and keep it updated as frequently as possible.  Now that I'm starting to read more for leisure it should be a lot easier.  Fingers crossed!  Until next time, I remain your faithful correspondent.

Back to the Grind

    Hello!  It has certainly been a nice week to come back to school.  I didn't realize that I would miss my students as much as I did, but it was terribly boring at home without them.  Unfortunately, it seems like they've been equally bored without me.  We're probably only a quarter through The Odyssey and they're already drowning in it.  Needless to say my cooperating teacher and I have our work cut out for us over the next few weeks.  But it is glad to be back.

    School has been a lot easier since we decided on co-teaching.  I've found that I'm able to get more work done, help out a little more around the room and get to know that kids a little better each day.  I already know them well enough, but just thinking about the rest of the year with them makes me feel great.  I'm looking forward to taking over come next Trimester, if I'm really ready.  I've already seen some massive improvements in some of the kids who were struggling before.  One in particular, one of my initial problem children, has proven to himself that reading isn't as bad as he thought it would be by actively seeking out books in a series he's loving right now.  Also, today actually, he was the only one in my class to get a 100% on our first grammar quiz!  I ran to catch up with him in the hallway outside my classroom after I graded all of them and he had the biggest smile!  It's stuff like this that makes me remember why I wanted to go into this profession and why I can't give up.  Right now I'm focusing on finishing my pedagogy statement that was supposed to be due last week, as well as other stuff for seminar a week from today.  Did I mention I'm hosting seminar next week too?  Time to decorate the classroom, bake a bunch of stuff to feed the masses and hope all goes well.

    As far as my health is concerned, nothing has really changed.  I feel that I've recovered better than expected from my biopsy and have had little to no complications.  That being said, I have noticed a few things I'm not happy about...like my hair falling out at a rapid rate and my feet and ankles swelling to abnormal sizes.  The fact that I now have cankles bothers me more than the fact that I'm slowly going bald.  The hair I can fix with a haircut, but when that might happen I have no idea.  I'm kind of looking forward to going back to short hair, as long as it looks like it did the last time I cut it.  I'm not sure how to fix the water retained in my lower extremities, but hopefully once we figure out what's wrong maybe it'll go away.  Now both doctors want me to get more blood work done by Monday, which is almost impossible considering I have NO time to run to both labs in one day, or even in two days really.  Plus it's not like the blood work will show anything different or anything that might help these side effects go away.  I'd rather not stay this way for longer than I have to...

    For TV this week, I'm going to focus on Once Upon a Time, Legend of Korra and Arrow, so put on your spoiler hats people.  So far Once has been juggling both the new Frozen storyline as well as the Regina plot to find her own happy ending.  I had a discussion today with a co-worker about possible angles and details that might give us viewers a clue as to what's really going on in Storybrooke, considering everyone apparently knows each other.  We know that Rumple is full of crap, the Snow Queen knows both Elsa and Emma, and Robin still has feelings for Regina.  Hook trying to blackmail Rumple was pretty cute, but I'm almost positive that Rumple will make him pay for that later on.  How is it Rumple is behind all of this stuff?  He knew that the house him and Belle spent their honeymoon in belonged to Merlin, (the hat from Fantasia gave it away), and he had contact with Anna, at least back in the Enchanted Forest, which he apparently doesn't remember, but I don't know if I buy that because he knows the Snow Queen, her relationship to Emma AND why she's here in the first place.  There's obviously something in it for him, so I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens.  What really bugs me is the relationship between Emma and the Snow Queen.  I think that Elsa's family tree might go a little further than she knew, but whether the Snow Queen is really her aunt or maybe someone a little closer is still up for debate.  They tend to drag these things out, so we may not even get an answer until the end of this season.  Also, did anyone else scream when they realized WILL IS BACK?!?  This won't be the last we see of him, but he was oddly familiar with the Snow Queen's business, so that's interesting...  So many questions, so little time!

    In Legend of Korra, we get to see where Korra has been this whole time, leading up to the big reveal at the end of TOPH!!  I was so excited to see someone from the original Avatar series other than Katara I almost fell off my chair.  We had been teased about a potential Toph/Avatar reunion last season, but I didn't think they would do it so soon.  Unfortunately, it looks like we'll have to wait a little longer for that conversation, considering that tomorrow's episode looks like it'll focus more on Mako and the new Earth kingdom.  I hate it when they do that...

    Arrow hasn't disappointed either as of late.  The murderous death of Sara came as a shock to me, honestly.  I didn't think they would kill her off at all.  We do know that she knew her attacker, so it's only a matter of time before Oliver connects the dots, probably with a little help from Laurel, who will most definitely take up a Canary alter-ego.  I hate the fact that Felicity was so close to bagging Oliver just to walk out on him to join The Atom, (unbeknownst to her, obviously).  I was really hoping for that connection, but I guess they just can't let it happen.  I am curious to see how they incorporate Thea back into the mix, now that she's been training heavily with her real father.  For what purpose still remains to be seen. but I sense a sibling cage match in our future at the very least.
    That's all from me for now.  I can't believe it's already the middle of October...  I feel like this month is moving by so fast and I don't have time to get everything done that I need to!  With everything I still have to do for school, work and my illness it's amazing I even find the energy to leave my bed every day.  Did I mention that my husband and I are crazy and we're thinking about moving soon?  When that'll be we have no idea, but hopefully it's before May.  We'd like to not freeze to death this winter or succumb to poverty, but who knows?  Everything in my life is still up in the air and it looks like it'll stay that way for awhile.  At this rate, I'm relieved to still have my sanity.  Until next time, I remain your faithful correspondent.

Health Update

    Hey everyone!  I'm currently on day two of my extra long weekend and I'm feeling much better.  I didn't want to post yesterday in order to give myself a little more time to recuperate after my operation, so I'm posting today instead.  Not a lot has happened in the last week or so, but I'll fill you in on the big things.

    My kidney biopsy went very well yesterday.  The staff at the hospital made me feel so much more comfortable about the whole situation that I would honestly do it again if I needed to.  I spent my entire day there, which was a bummer since it was the most perfect fall day outside.  Luckily I got to experience the outdoors today instead.  There were no immediate complications and I'm still a little sore and stuffed up, but otherwise I feel fine.  All my entry points are healing nicely without any discoloration and I've had almost no abdominal pain since I've been home.  The procedure, although initially very scary, wasn't as bad as I had imagined it to be.  The worst part of it all was probably putting in the IV and the distribution of the numbing agent through my back.  Overall it went well and I'm hoping that they got a decent sample to give me some answers in a week or two.
    As for teaching, I've been taking more of a back seat lately.  Due to my health issues and frequent absences, my professor and cooperating teacher thought it would be a good idea to follow a co-teaching model up until the end of the first trimester, (which will end up being sometime in November).  I'm hoping that I have my Lupus under control by that point where I can take on more of a leadership role.  I'm relieved to have a little more time to get some observations in, work on my pedagogy statement and focus more on following directions in the classroom so I can make sure I'm doing everything right.  Come spring I'd like to feel a little more confident in my teaching abilities and earn my cooperating teacher's trust back so that I can substitute and lead my class properly, but right now I know I'm not in a good spot to do that.  Sometimes in situations like mine you have to learn to be humble and take what you're given, even if you don't want to.

    It's also been awkward dealing with what I've come to recognize as my "new normal."  I've had Lupus for about 14 years now and for most of that time I was in remission.  I hadn't had to deal with any serious health problems since 8th grade, which was the last time I was hospitalized.  Now it seems that my body is changing rapidly in a negative way and I've never had to deal with something of this magnitude.  Over the last month or so since I've started teaching I've talked to my professor and cooperating teacher a lot about "accommodations" related to my health and I've never really thought about it like that before.  I've never thought of myself as someone who needed to be accommodated for and that makes me feel sort of fragile, like I'm not able to do the things I've always been able to do.  My "new normal" situation is sometimes frustrating and aggravating to the point where I just want to shut it all off.  Since I've been on the steroids it's been a lot easier to move around and do simple tasks like opening a bottle of water, but I'm afraid of what will happen when I'm done with them.  Will I be prescribed something that actually works for my whole body or will we ache through another month or two of trial and error until we find a combination that works for now?  There's a lot still up in the air and not a whole lot of explanation, but I guess that's what I've been given.  If I've learned anything from this experience, it's that sometimes you just have to roll with the punches.

    PREPARE FOR SPOILERS: As for TV for the last week, my husband and I ended up binge-watching everything we missed last week last Saturday so we're all caught up for now.  Bones made me cry and I really wish they didn't kill off Sweets...but it looks like it'll be a huge motivator for Booth and Brennan to catch whoever is behind it.  I also hope that Daisy doesn't name her child Seeley Sweets, but we'll see.  We watched the premier of Arrow last night and it was awesome for about two seconds.  I've wanted to see Oliver and Felicity together SO BADLY and then they're date was ruined and then he changed his mind and WHAT THE HELL OLIVER?!?  Also, killing off Sarah may or may not be a good move, but I guess we'll see how this plays out over the rest of the season.
    That's all I have for this week.  Monday is a holiday, hence the extra long weekend joyousness, so I'm back to school on Tuesday for an intern-friendly field trip.  Should be a nice, relaxing couple of days and I plan on taking full advantage of them:)  Until next time, I remain your faithful correspondent.

Hulking Out and Parent/Teacher Conferences

    So far, so good!  Hope everyone's doing ok.  I'm glad I at least talked myself into typing this up tonight, even though it's been a really long day.  I literally JUST got home from my first round of parent/teacher conferences, (it's about 9:30pm), and I can honestly say it wasn't terrible.  Luckily the two kids who had signed up to see me who are failing my class didn't show, but I'll have to deal with them later.  Most of my kids are great, well-behaved and acing my class, so I'm not too worried.

    I was a little worried at the end of last week, on Friday, because I got some really negative and harsh criticism/feedback from my cooperating teacher about my progress so far:(  I guess I wasn't doing as well as I had hoped...  It really hurt to hear her honesty, but I appreciated that she had the heart to tell me.  I'm not connecting with the kids in the right way, I'm still too soft on them, they talk over me STILL, I have some trouble makers who think they're smart asses who test my patience, and I guess overall I'm still not delivering the curriculum correctly, (or at least adequately enough to help them comprehend what I'm talking about).  I know that her suggestions and opinions are only supposed to help me and make me better over time, so I hope I can improve to a point where I'm proud of myself again.  Just today I got over the "I don't think I want to be a teacher anymore" feeling, so here's to a new leaf turning.  We just started a new unit on The Odyssey and we're doing a research project about monsters and Greek gods, so this should be fun!

    On the health front, I'm feeling so much better!  I'm on my second day of steroids and I can safely say I can't remember the last time it was easy for me to get out of bed in the morning.  It's been nice feeling "normal" for awhile, even though it won't last forever.  I have a month to see what's going on, but for now I'm focusing mostly on my upcoming biopsy, which is Thursday.  I'll have a long weekend to recover, but I'm still really scared about the procedure and complications...  I have an ultrasound on Monday which isn't terrible, but I have to "fast" for it, which means I can't eat for 12 hours, (2am-2pm).  NOT fun.  I think I'm going to cheat a little and get some jello and/or pudding, (who WOULDN'T want pudding?!)  Getting through the day is hard enough as it is, but with no food and all these 'roids coursing through my veins it'll be hard to survive the day.  Until we get the results back from the kidney biopsy, they won't know how bad my Lupus Nephritis is, so we'll have to wait and see.  It's probably not that serious, but dialysis still scares me, so I hope it doesn't come to that.

    On TV this past week, I've started a new show called The Red Band Society, in which the series is narrated by a child in a coma as a part of a terminally ill or intensive care unit for kids and teens in a hospital in California.  The doctor/surgeon is wicked hot, the characters are snarky despite their conditions and Nurse Jackson is my new spirit animal.  I'm happy there's a show like this on Fox and I can't wait to see what they do with it.  Gotham is another show I've been loving recently that just started.  Obviously my husband and I had to watch this one solely based on the Batman references, but it's surprisingly engaging without the bat.  I'm also excited to see where they take this series because they have a lot to work with and many directions they could take this.  So far I like the guy playing Gordon and I've always liked Donal Logue, so there's a win-win team right there.  I'm still getting over him being a viking...  I love how they've portrayed Selena Kyle so far and I can't wait to see how Bruce and Selena become friends, (or enemies).

    Other shows that have started but I haven't been able to get caught up on are Castle, Bones, (I know who dies...I'm DEVASTATED), Face Off, Agents of Shield, Reign, and The Amazing Race.  I did catch the premiere of Once Upon a Time last Sunday and it was AMAZING!  I'm not turned off about the Frozen team being there, especially if it means that Scott Michael Foster is back in my life again.  I literally screamed when I saw the sorcerer's hat from Fantasia morph from that box at Belle and Rumple's house, but we'll see what he does/doesn't do with that.  Also, the kiss between Emma and Hook proves that Captain Swan is alive and well!  So excited for this season and what they have up their sleeves.
    Well, that's all I have for this week.  I really have to go to bed...  Even though I'm feeling better physically, I'm still suffering from fatigue and my kidney issues.  I've also been really itchy lately, all over, so I'm not sure if I'm allergic to my father's fabric softener or if it's a side effect from the steroids, but I'll figure it out this weekend I think.  I should have an update next week.  I may have to push back my post until Friday, depending on how I feel next Thursday after my procedure, but we'll play it by ear.  Until next time, I remain your faithful correspondent.

PS: In other news, tomorrow is October 3rd.  I'm planning an impromptu Mean Girls Day celebration tomorrow in class.  You're welcome in advance kids:)

I'm BACK!

    Hello everyone!  Welcome back!  I know I said that I would be back at the beginning of September, but a lot has been going on and I honestly haven't found the time to post until now, so I apologize.  Things have been crazy lately and I have every intention of telling you all about what's been going on with me during the last few months.

    First of all, we've started school!  I spent the last months of summer at our local summer camp and it was so much fun!  It's been about a month since school, (and my internship), officially started and I'm just now getting more comfortable and relaxed with the kids.  I'm hoping this will kind of turn into a space where I can vent and discuss my internship experience in full and maybe work through some of my problems or concerns about my teaching future.  We'll see!  So far, so good though.  I was getting worried for awhile because they still have trouble listening to me and I have problems with projection, (which I initially found hard to believe given my naturally loud voice).  As of right now, they seem to be more comfortable with me, so we'll see how that keeps up.  I'm doing a rotating seating chart to help them quell the talking and to get them to meet each other as well.  I have a few students who insist on sitting near or next to each other and that's never a good idea.  We've been slowly progressing through our short story unit and they have a test on Friday, so we'll see how that goes.  Right now I'm more concerned about their writing and grammatical issues that I will have to address at some point...  The one main thing I have been loving about my class is the emphasis on Penny Kittle and independent reading choices.  The kids have really had fun picking out and reading their own books, and, even though this is a new curriculum for everyone, I think they're getting the hang of it.  So for now, that's what I've been doing in school, with plenty more to come.

    Part of my internship is a weekly seminar, which is a space where the interns can vent and voice their aggressions with the rest of the group.  It's been awesome so far to hear all the other stories from other departments.  I'm the only English intern, so I've felt sort of secluded from everyone else here at the school.  It's nice to talk and discuss with other like-minded college grads.  Our internship coordinator is pretty cool too I guess.  He's been more than a huge help, especially lately, so I will have to remember to get him a card as a thank you at the end of all this.  Especially if he helps me find a job too.  I will most likely post my blog entries every week after seminar on Thursdays because I still want it to be during the week so I can talk education, but I don't want to feel overwhelmed or pressured by it, so I'll try that out for next week.  I know it's Tuesday, but I have some downtime between periods so I figured what the heck.

    Now for the bad...  As you know, I've been struggling with random severe flares from my Lupus ever since last summer.  Lately, they have escalated to the point where I've had to seek alternative treatment back at Massachusetts General Hospital.  This summer, though very enjoyable, was also very tumultuous in the sense that I was very sick for most of the three months I worked and had to take some time off to recuperate.  I'm not the type of person to take time off because of sickness or anything like that, even though I probably should sometimes.  With the internship now, I have more flexibility and if I need to, I can take some time for myself and my health.  I've already had the discussion with my coordinator and my cooperating teacher and they are both on board with me getting my health back on track.  Last night was especially difficult for me...  In the last 13 years, I can never remember crying or getting emotionally upset over the pain I have.  Last night was the first time I just broke down and let all of my frustration out.  I could barely move and I'm actually surprised I made it to my apartment alone.  My left leg hurt so bad I had to physically lift it into and out of my car with my own arms, which also hurt a great deal, (obviously a little less than my leg).  It's gotten to the point where I'm literally sick and tired of feeling like this.  I've never had a flare last THIS long.  It's scary to think how badly this has progressed over the last year.  It makes me fearful of my future and what's to come.  On top of my body shutting down, I've also developed the butterfly rash on my face, been having trouble breathing due to my pericarditis, and had a resurgence of kidney problems that I'm currently working on with both my primary Rheumatologist and the clinical doctor at Mass Gen.  I'm hoping to get in to see a kidney doctor this week before I go back to Boston for my follow up a week from today.  I'm hoping to get this sorted out soon so I can finally have some relief.  I have found solace in a support group known as the "Spoonies," who are other people with chronic illnesses.  They call themselves "spoonies" because of a blog written by Christine Miserandino called "The Spoon Theory."  She writes about her experiences trying to explain how her illness works to her friend and the results are astounding.  It is a great piece of writing and I'll link it here.  I totally recommend it to anyone who wants to know more about chronic illness.

    That's basically it for me.  As far as TV goes, I'll try to keep my reviews to a minimum, but my shows are all starting up again, so we'll see how that goes.  I'm currently watching Face Off, but Gotham just premiered last night and I'll be watching that with my husband probably tonight.  Also, I have been on the fence about Dancing With the Stars this season, but I might watch just in case Bethany Mota wins.  I believe the only other shows I'm waiting to start again are Castle, Bones, and The Amazing Race.  I'm thinking about adding another page to my blog just for TV reviews, so let me know what you think about that in the comments below.  I would also like to revamp my book log and let you guys know what I'm reading right now and what I think about it, kind of like what I'm doing with my students and Book Talks.  Let me know!  Until next time, I remain your faithful correspondent.

My Bad.

    Hey guys, so I'm sorry that I took an unforeseen week off, but it ended up working out in my favor anyway, seeing as there was literally nothing going on, including no Bachelorette.  I have been really busy clearing out my site for the summer while simultaneously preparing myself for the first day of camp training, which was today.  Even though I still wasn't prepared, (no food or water, which we had to bring ourselves), I had a great first day!  Met a lot of my coworkers, (good and obnoxious), played some team-building games and took a tour of camp, which I hadn't seen in about 16 years.  It was nice to see things that have lasted that long along side newer structures and attractions.  Luckily I avoided the swim test because of the issues I've been having with my heart...

    I always anticipated that my pericarditis would come back, but not so soon.  I came home Sunday night, tired and not feeling well after a long day out with both my father and my father-in-law.  Monday morning I woke up around 1:30am sweating, shivering and writhing in pain, my chest tight.  I couldn't breathe and I didn't know what was wrong or how it happened.  Luckily it hasn't happened again, but the chest pain has increased, along with the temperature, so unfortunately I think I might have to make an impromptu call to my rheumatologist.  I didn't like the older medication she had me on because of the side effects related to reproduction, but it did work quickly to stem the pain from my chest.  At least I could breathe, without taking steroids or pain killers, (which also work, but are more dangerous to take for extended periods).  Needless to say I'm torn, but I do know I haven't been able to do as much because I haven't been able to breathe correctly.  I'll update you guys as soon as I know what's going to happen, but it looks like I might have to cave for the sake of my heart.

    I did have a great last week of school though, before all this crappy stuff came out of nowhere.  I even got gifts from some of the parents, which blew my mind because I've only been there since March.  It was nice to see everyone getting excited for summer and next year, especially the 5th graders moving on to middle school.  I told them I may run into them someday, but honestly I hope I don't.  Some of them I'd rather never seen again!  But in all seriousness, it's nice to know your patience and hard work is appreciated by the parents, even if you've only been there a short time.  I was even more glad to see parents whose kids weren't in our program ask when it would be ok to sign them up.  I can't wait to see how many kids we have next year and I look forward to switching off between my Freshman and my elementary school kids.

    One child I will miss terribly is Caroline.  I was drawn to her initially because she was about my height, (which is tall for her and short for me, being 5 feet tall), with glasses and very studious and quiet, much like myself.  I thought I could be someone she could actually relate to, unlike all the other more immature students around her.  Then I found out she had been diagnosed with juvenile arthritis.  I never thought I'd be a role model to anyone.  I remember a time when I was 11 years old, struggling with an uncommon diagnosis that is incurable and not knowing who to talk to except my mother.  I didn't have anybody I could relate to because I was the only one who had heard of what I had.  My friends didn't understand my illness, in fact, some were scared of me, thinking it might be contagious.  I had no one to talk to or vent to about any of my pain and I wish I had.  For me, being that person for another 11 year old girl struggling with a similar illness makes me the happiest person in the world.  I always wondered what it would be like to write my younger self a letter, explaining what was going to happen to me and how it will progress, how I'll feel and if I'll ever get a hold on it.  I've taken everything I would've told myself and gave that advice to Caroline, so that she might not feel so alone.  I wish I could meet more kids like Caroline and help them realize that they aren't alone, their pain is real and that they will overcome it someday, like I'm working on every day.

    Now that the sap story is done, let's get on to TV!  I've got Bachelorette and Game of Thrones finale SPOILERS for you today:

  First up is the Game of Thrones finale and, while it did not disappoint, left many fans disappointed.  I myself am guilty of this, but a lot of fans had expected the appearance of Lady Stoneheart, which never happened.  I thought the season ended on a very high note, so I'm even more excited now for the next season, which will most likely begin with Lady Stoneheart and her story, but we'll just have to wait and see.  I did enjoy the little funeral Jon had for his lady friend, the one who got ran through by an arrow-wielding child.  I don't know how Stanis' presence here at the Wall will effect comradery among the soldiers, but I can see the sorceress being a HUGE pain in the ass, as usual.  Jon seems to trust him for now, having found out Stanis supported his father, but I could see a look of unease about him, so I'm sure Stanis will screw everything up by being a crazy lunatic.  Is it sad that I cried too when Daenerys chained two of her dragons?  Those are not just dragons, they are her BABIES!  I'm also looking forward to Drogon's return and how devastating that will turn out to be.  Obviously I loved when Tyrion shot his father on the toilet, but that was clearly going to happen.  This episode had my favorite ending by far, which was when Arya, after watching the Hound get killed, (basically), by Brienne of Tarth, boarded a ship to Braavos to reunite with her assassin friends.  I'm so excited for her character to train with them more broadly and come back with a vengeance.  I'm starting to realize that a Stark reunion, although they came SO CLOSE this season, is inevitably not going to happen.  At least not any time soon.  I'll keep waiting, but next season should be awesome!

  The Bachelorette had it's ups and downs this week.  One "up" was that they were in the south of France, which is BEAUTIFUL!  I've wanted to travel to Europe for awhile now and France is definitely one of those places I'd love to visit, (even though I've heard from multiple sources that they are rude to Americans).  Marquel was SO GOOD at miming, I think he should do it full time, (especially now that he's been sent home...oops).  I'm still on the fence about Josh, but I think more of the truth will unfold between the next couple episodes.  I also didn't really like Brian's date either.  Both were rather boring with little to no sex appeal, so I kind of tuned out everything but the gorgeous scenery until the final rose ceremony.  I'm glad she got rid of Andrew and Patrick too because they were just taking up space for the other guys to breathe.  So far, I'm keep my Top 3 at Marcus, Chris and Brian, (only because Brian had a strong impression on Andi during their date), with Dylan and Josh taking up the rear as a close 4th and 5th pick.  We'll see how the lie detector pans out when they go to Venice next week.  I'm hoping for someone to have a girlfriend or a bad credit history.
    Well, that's about it.  Next week I should be posting, however it will probably not be up until later at night, considering I will have started camp and will not get home until close to 5pm.  I am excited to start my summer with a bunch of middle schoolers in my village and ready to have a great time.  I will also be attending my old Newmarket 8th graders' graduation ceremony this Thursday, which will be fun as well.  This may be the last time I might see any of them, so I'll have to make it count.  Hopefully I can find something to wear before then!  I've realized through cleaning out my closet that I have absolutely no cute sundresses or anything summer professional in my wardrobe, so there will have to be some sort of shopping trip in my future.  Summer vacation has officially started, so I'm sure I'll have plenty of time to spare!  Until next time, I remain your faithful correspondent.